I'm a contract killer dealing with spammers

Fick ännu ett i raden av trevliga erbjudanden i mailboxen i morse:

Hello,
My name is Rebecca Pierce; I work with Watergate Consulting Ltd in London.
We are conducting a standard process investigation involving a client who shares the same name with you and also the circumstances surrounding investments made by this client at Yorkshire Bank PLC.
The Yorkshire Bank Private Banking client died intestate and nominated no next of kin to inherit the title over the investments made with Yorkshire Bank PLC. The essence of this communication with you is to request that you provide us information on three issues:
1-Are you aware of any relative/relation having the same surname, whose last known contact address was Brussels Belgium?
2-Are you aware of any investment of considerable value made by such a person at Yorkshire Bank PLC?
3-Can you establish beyond reasonable doubt your eligibility to assume status of next of kin to the deceased?
It is pertinent that you inform us ASAP whether or not you are familiar with this personality that we may put an end to this communication with you and our inquiries surrounding this personality.
You must appreciate that we are constrained from providing you with more detailed information at this point. Please respond to my private email mrsrebeccapierce@gmail.com as soon as possible to afford us the opportunity to close this investigation.
Thank you for accommodating our enquiry.
Yours sincerely,
Mrs. Rebecca Pierce
Watergate Consulting Ltd
For: Yorkshire Bank Private Clients.

Om jag inte visste bättre än att föra dialog med den här typen av idioter hade jag svarat.

Hello,
My name is Fredrik Welander. I’m a self-employed contract killer who mostly deals with low class criminals trying to get their hands on people’s assetts by using stupid e-mail scams. Your e-mail got my attention and I’ve opened an inquiry about you.
It is pertinent that you inform me ASAP whether or not you are trying to feed of my greed and think that I’m stupid enough to buy your story (which by the way is better than most, but still thinner than the bones of your skull). Until you have cleared yourself you are placed on my list of legitimate targets and I’ve started to track your digital footprints.
You must appreciate that I’m constrained from providing you with more detailed information at this point. Please respond to my private email imstupidandapologize@gmail.com as soon as possible to afford us the opportunity to close this investigation.
Thank you for accommodating my enquiry.
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Fredrik Welander